Poetry Inspired by my Experience as a Medical Librarian

worthy of Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz himself

Another bare-bones web site. Maybe I'll make it pretty someday.

In the course of my thirteen years as a medical librarian, I've written a variety of poems, or, to be more precise, doggerel, on a variety of themes. Most of them were originally published on MEDLIB-L, the medical librarians' discussion group. Here they are in one place. All are released under Creative Commons: (1) You are free to reproduce these works at will without asking my permission. If you make millions of dollars off them, I'd appreciate it if you'd throw a few dollars my way. (B) Attribute them to me, Fred King, if feasible. (iii) If you make improvements, please send them to me at phred (at) phred (dot) us.

• A series of Double Dactyls
• The Access Code -- a poem inspired by a few days of cataloging medical textbooks with single-user scratch-off access codes
• ILL Angst -- is ILL borrowing dangerous?
• Sorry Dave, I can't do that -- Technology doesn't always make things easier
• Upon Hearing the Prediction of Snow for the Washington, DC, Area, Written by One Who Has Lived There for Over a Quarter-Century
• Don't Twitter that Critter -- Using Twitter to request licensed journal articles is fast, convenient, and probably a copyright violation.
• A Plea to Return Lost Books -- We're not going to scream at you; just bring our books back.
• The Green Light of the Yellow LVAD -- An unusual case of congestive heart failure following routine excision of a skin neoplasm
• Bipap -- A patient needed assistance in breathing but was declining it. I suggested that the doctors and nurses sing this to her. Oddly enough, the staff did not take me up on the idea.
• If Dr Seuss were a Hospital Customer Service Consultant -- I entered this in a patient safety poetry contest. The fact that it did not win the competition I can only attribute to blatant good taste among the judges.
• Little Annie Clabsi -- Case study: Little Annie Clabsi and her evil cousin C Diff visit a hospital and are vanquished by proper hand hygiene.
• My Favorite Tools -- My friend and colleague Margaret Hoogland asked me to be part of a program she was doing at MLA on library tools. Clearly the occasion needed a song.
• Koha Rap -- My favorite library tool is Koha. What's a Koha? Well, you'll have to click on the link to find out.
• Stayin' Awake -- This is what happens when you're asked to do a Medline search on strategies for nurses to stay awake during the night shift.
• Hemoptysis -- Everyone else has parodied this one, now it's my turn.
• Ode to a Deceased Printer -- My first try at a Pindaric ode. This one isn't based on anything else, except for the final line.

Looking for the Avenging Chicken? It's over here: avengingchicken.online